Singled Out! Our Decision To Have One Child Confuses Just About Everyone

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It seems that all good things come in ‘threes’ these days – long weekends, B2GO free deals, and… children. So just how do you stand your ground and appreciate the one you’ve got while everyone else is multiplying? 

For my husband and I, it’s pretty simple. When we got married 7 years ago, we had already made the decision to not have any children. Of course our plans, dreams and ambitions changed when our daughter came along – as they should. But as much as we love our precious little girl, we simply do not want to pop out any more kids.

Our friends and family members are aiming high, and most say that they want three children! I always ask why because I am curious – and yes, a little bit astonished. The reasoning? To have playmates for siblings, to get a certain wanted gender, to be pregnant and raise another child from birth again, um, newborns are cute (Can’t really argue with that one ;)  

When we tell people that our baby-making factories will be closed indefinitely, this draws cries of outrage and protest. “Autumn, you’re being selfish! Danger needs a playmate,” has been thrown at me on more than one occasion. Ever heard of friends?! I do not need to deliver another baby for my child to have someone to play with. She is lovely and sweet – why wouldn’t other kids want to play with her?

Another argument that people toss at me is that of the dreaded ‘only-child syndrome.’ I guess I can see how a single child can be spoiled rotten, but again, it’s up to us to raise our daughter the way we see fit. We don’t want our daughter to be a whiny, clingy, non-productive adult – so we’re going to teach her to be independent now.

The focus of any parent should always be to raise competent and industrious children, whether you have one or one hundred. Of course, having multiple children does not guarantee that any of your children will turn out the way you’ve hoped, but it can mean that none of your children turn out that way. Ever heard of sibling influence?

Look, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having multiple children. It’s just not what everyone wants. Let’s save our unsolicited advice for something more important.

How many children do you have? Does anyone ever give you a hard time about your family size? 

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About Autumn Bradshaw

Autumn Bradshaw is an award-winning creative writer that now focuses on parenting, family travel, and life in the Atlanta area. When she’s not writing on the Classic Mommy blog or contributing to other established sites, she carves out time to provide social media consulting services to small businesses in the Greater Atlanta area. She has worked with a number of brands across multiple industries to successfully promote products and focus the social media outreach for events and travel destinations, including a well-known baby product brand and the city of Kissimmee, FL, among others. While her writing is often focused on the places, products, and events that aim to make life easier and more enjoyable for parents, she is able to write about a wide breadth of topics, including technology, travel, and political science. Autumn is proud to be an Atlanta Mommy Blogger!
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4 Responses to Singled Out! Our Decision To Have One Child Confuses Just About Everyone

  1. I have two only because I was an only child. When I was younger it was cool but as I got older I started to miss that bond of having another sibling then when my mother died it hit me hard because I had to deal with everything alone and friends left me. I am good with one but decided to have two to make sure they had each other to lean on when they get older. I am only for having two though because they cost money and they need time and I only have enough time for two lol. As long as you are comfortable with your decision who cares what anyone else thinks. She will be spoiled though lol

  2. We, of course get the questions in the opposite. 4 kids? Why? Are you crazy? What’s wrong with you?

    You do what works best for you and your family. It just stinks that everybody wants to be all up in our reproductive systems and put in their own two cents or buck fifty!

  3. A-frackin-men. We get this all the time. We’re busy, and “having it all” for us means possibly NOT having any more. I like to work, I like the extremely charmed life we live, and just because I like puppies doesn’t mean I want to go get another dog…. :)

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one out there that’s getting this!

  4. weeshare says:

    Autumn– I totally get this and get the same response as you OFTEN. Darren and I were surprised when we found out I was expecting Raileigh. But, it has been the best gift and blessing of our life. That being said, we always wanted ONE child. We want to give her everything we can– every experience and possibility, take her places, let her live a big life of adventure. And, to be honest– that is something that gets harder the more kids you have. Plus, I experienced a really hard delivery and though it was worth it COMPLETELY, I have no desire to go through it again {and I would have to}. I think the number of children your family has is such a personal decision and one that people need to keep their mouth shut about. One kid works well for you and for me, and I know I don’t push my opinions on people with a zillion kids running crazy everywhere!

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